Assalamualaikum and greetings to all.

I feel better today because I even can laugh with them. Haha lol. It seems that I already can talk in english well and I can understand what the things that they wanna say to me. It was hard for me on the first week, I can't interrupt when they are talking because I need to translate the sentence I want to say first. Then when I had finished the process in my brain, they had finished talking haha. I'm so dumb.

It is very hard to rebuild my confidence. Also make new friends. It is really hard for me. But I will try hard so I can do it.

I hope whatever I'm doing here is good for me. I think this probably the last school I studied. I hope I can do everything I want to do here and I will try as much as I can.

In fact, when I was thinking about my life, unconsciously, God had answered my prayer. All the schools I attended have taught me a lot about life, friendship and have made me today. I am very grateful that I am aware of it and I am aware of the hikmah behind all those transfers.

Allah has sent me to the Islamic high school to learn about Islam. Then, the next school is for me to practice what I learned and appreciate every knowledge I have & learn more about Him. Next, matric to strengthen myself and test me whether I able to sacrifice anything I have. Also, asked me to tell what I know to others. It is also an opportunity for me to build friendship and redeem the result I got and my way to achieve my dream.

And now I'm here to try to get what I dreamed and find myself. Just a few steps I started and I know a lot more that I need to go through as I am here. I also do not know what will happen to me, but I hope that Allah will lend me his strength so I can take it.

I know, I can not get through it well. I've fallen many times and when I think of it, I think there are so many opportunities I've ignored. I am very sorry and every day I regret because I have endorsed all the opportunities Allah has given me.

So I'm very hopeful that Allah can give me strength and patience to me. I am not able to live this life without Him. I also hope He awakened me if I mistakenly chose the path. I only hope for the best for myself and the people around me. I know I have disappointed people around me especially my parents and I do not want to repeat them anymore. I really want to change and I know I still have time as this heart beat. 

Hopefully what we do is based on our faith and every step we take is led by Allah. Remember that Allah is the best planner and He knows what is best for his slave. 
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