Assalamualaikum and greetings to all.
Today, I feel a little bit okay than yesterday. I really need time to heal my heart and reflect myself. What I've done & so on. But, still I can't act like a normal person in front of people that have cut my heart into pieces.
What am I gonna say is... I have tried my best to secure our bonding. But, I think, the only side who was trying really hard is just me. I've tried my best to keep positive and husnuzhon to you.
"Oh, this is okay.. maybe you're a little bit tired"
I don't know what the things that were disturbing your mind. I don't have any idea. I've done so many things to work on it but I can't see your penambahbaikan at all. You even throw me away like a trash & take it back when you feel "Oh, I think you are still useful to me."
I don't mean that you ni jahat sangat ke apa. I still remember all those little kind things that you have done to me. But, I just want you to reflect yourself. Ask yourself, why you feel so left out?
You always say yang us never think about your feelings while us sehabis baik untuk pujuk you and take you back towards us. But, you were judging us like you are a god. You were saying that you know our intentions and we did all that because we're just sorry to you yada yada. Come on, siapa je boleh tahan kalau you kata you tahu niat dia?
Ask yourself, how many times you have did that attitude towards us? How many times you were using harsh words towards us? How many times you asked us to back off? How many times you said we don't even care about your feelings?
I wanna ask you, do you really care our feelings? mine? his?
Do you ever asked us what we feel?
Are you the only one who got problem and feel left out?
Are you the only one who feel alone?
Are you the only one who feel so insecure?
Are not you feel grateful enough with what you have?
Why must you envy us, envy me when you can do it much better?
It was really hurt when you said you were envying our friendship (me & him) and because of that you sampai hati nak cetuskan salah faham and asked us to stay away from you.
What do you feel when we're doing the same thing to you?
Do you can act like "okay.. I don't care.. I get used to it.."
I've decided to stay away after what you've done to me. As you wished. I'm really tired. I wanna live my live to the fullest without getting attach to the negative vibes.
Oh dear, I'm really tired. You won't find me again. And, I will not gonna be sorry for that. I'll be a completely stranger to you.
You can find a better person than me that will understand you better, that will cherish you better. No worries, there's a lot of people in this world that can do much better than me.
Heartless but I have a soul. A black soul.
The end. Goodbye.