There will be a moment in your life that you'll feel down, frustrated and lost. Mixed feelings in your heart, you can't explain them by words. The only things you can do are crying, making distance with people around you & try to let things go. You feel it is better for being alone. You fucked up people that surround you. You bear in your mind, you don't need them. You are trying so hard. Until the moment you realised, you are actually lying yourself. Your heart broke into pieces. You've failed. You put your hands on your chest & keep asking yourself why you can't make it. You're being stress. All alone. You'll feel nobody need you. You feel left out. Poor your soul. It's totally hurt.
Everyone will feel this. That feelings come from nowhere.
Personally, I've felt this. So many times. I guess you've felt this too. It's hurt isn't it? You trying hate them, but actually you love them. You trying forgetting them, but the fact is they always playing in your mind. When they approach you, you put your ego between you and them. Then, you cried. Because, you don't meant it. You start hating yourself. Why you behave like this & that? You keep asking yourself, keep blaming yourself. Your soul damaged once again.
This is the starting point where you teach yourself to become heartless. You change the bio on your social media saying you are heartless. When people asking you what you feel, you answered, nothing. You lied yourself. You tortured you heart. How dare you.
You can do all of this. But, there will be a day that you will give up. You feel tired & not strong enough to 'face' it. Actually, you don't face it, you escape. That problems will always hunting you.
Wake up. Make a time for yourself to relax. Appreciate yourself. Don't excruciating your mental, emotion & physical.